Home Schooling: An Alternative Solution For LGBT Students

The horror stories are all practically the same. We have read news stories after stories of scores of LGBT students in public and private schools being tormented, abuse, bullied for who they are and what they represent. Gay activists are now championing "anti-bullying" programs that would somehow curve this abuse and prevent bullies from bothering gay students, and even supporting gay history education in California schools that will, they claim, provide for a safer environment for all students. But then I need to remind you that we all heard this before and systemic problems in the school system have been persistent, yet hard to eliminate all together. In the end, anti-gay bullying is here to stay. The basic reality is that anti-gay bullying of all forms, from soft to outright violence and murder will not go away. Sadly, regardless how much money, how many programs, or time we spent on stopping it, it has been prevalent in the past and will continue to be a hallmark of the public and even private school system in the future.

My Story

I have attended public schools as a child in California, and regardless of the "liberal" leaning and overwhelming democratic party influence at my high school I still suffered abuse for being gay. My locker was burned twice, I was beaten several times, with one time ended up in the ER for stitches to my face after fighting against a bully who had stolen my pager and telling me that I am a "faggot." He was not the only one. And yet the administrators didn't think anything of it, just more of "boys will be boys." A counselor told me once that maybe it was my fault that I was getting picked on for letting people know that I was gay. I laughed at him, but yet felt broken inside because I thought the adults were there to protect us, but now that I look at it - it was more like them saving their own asses. Though my time in high school was rough, I did not let these wrongs set me back. I did fight back, even being suspended several times for standing up for myself.

In the end, I felt that I did not really learn anything besides how to survive in a prison like environment, where any moment somebody will either yell "faggot" or "fag," throw something at me, show me their genitals, make me trip, steal from me, make fun of my answers or presentations... This was a living nightmare for me. But unlike so many, I was able to put up with it and stand my ground that by the end of my school career the bullying has simmered down and was able to date somebody (who was in the closet, obviously). And thanks to the bullies of the school, I was not able to enjoy my relationship to the full potential. My boyfriend at that time had a "girlfriend" in order to play the straight card. Then somehow she ended up pregnant which then placed a lot of strain on our relationship. Needless to say, after high school we broke up. He tried to continue living a lie, but then of course failed and all of his secrets (including yours truly) all came out. This all happened because High School Inc. gave me and my boyfriend unnecessary hardship as gay kids. It ended up ruining his life and bringing a child into the mix as well. By the time he repented his lies it was too late and I was with someone else.

I think back and ask myself, was it all worth it? Was all that pain worth me being forced to get up every morning to visit a place that I am tormented everyday, where my boyfriend refuses to acknowledge me as his boyfriend and mate... Was it all worth it? The teachers were incompetent and negligent. I had a drama teacher who pants herself in front of the whole class one time, a math teacher who placed us in groups and made us all do the work while he surfed the internet, a geometry teacher who did the same and rarely did she talked to us or taught us anything, an english teacher who made us go to the computer lab almost all the time while she just sat reading magazines, a gym teacher who sold creatine to me and other boys, and pushed steroids on the football team... The list goes on and on. I had no learning experience. I learned nothing valuable that has helped me as an adult. It is now that I am out of that system that I can say no. No, it was not worth it. No amount of torture is worth being "taught" by an incompetent system whose sole purpose is to suck up tax money, bonuses, and pensions.

Education vs. System

I cringe every time when politicians and political hacks bark "we need to fix the education system." Wrong. We need to get rid of the education system, press the reset button, and focus on education itself, not on systems. What are systems by the way? Systems in this context are programs in which are prepared without your consent or knowledge in which your participation in them requires you to submit to certain rules, behaviors, methods, and outlines that are not suited individually, but are one size fits all. Systems do not work. Systems are antithesis to the development of gay children and their well-being. Instead of educating our gay children based on individual needs, we educate them systemically. Instead of enlightenment and curiosity, we oppress them and their individuality for the sake of the system. We no longer view gay kids as special human beings with talents, imaginations, aspirations, and ideas, but rather just another number, a seat number, or another test score. No matter how "neat" you think that next "no child be bullied and left behind" program is, as long as it is a system you refuse to acknowledge a child's basic individual humanity. This is why I will always doubt campaigns, policies, that somehow suppose to fix the same system that has failed our nations's children for decades. And looking at gay teen suicides, this is one reason we as a society have failed these kids, their humanity has been neglected and basically denied.

School Is Torture

Well, at least for our gay kids it is. I understand how many of you felt when you were being taunted and bullied by these degenerates who have no respect for human life nor decency. It is at best, uncomfortable. But in reality it is torture.

Torture is defined as "the act of  inflicting excruciating pain" for among other things "sheer cruelty." Haven't we learn anything from the stories we read of gay teen suicides and of other bullied teens? The pain was so overwhelming to them that the only remedy was to end their lives to relieve such pain. In fact many victims of physical torture during times of war have committed suicide because of torture. If somebody doubts this obvious observation its because they were either the popular ones in school, enjoyed the protection of the system serving them, or were bullies themselves. Those who are careless about torture or encourage it, have no idea how it is to be tortured.

Don't Stay In School

Back in the nineties and well into the millennium, it was very "cool" to say "stay in school." But now if you look around that slogan is no more. Now it is just shut up and don't question us. But yet that slogan was quite a joke if you look at it objectively, how is it "cool" to go to a system that rejects your humanity and individuality? How is it "cool" that you must go to a place to be tortured every day making some students commit suicide to the pleasure of bullies and thugs? If it was so "cool" as many of us have said in the past, then why have truancy laws forcing children to go to school or face going to jail. If its so "cool" kids would be running to the schools and begging for more. But that is not the truth, and it is time now that LGBT activists face that truth. It is time for all of us to do away with this plague on our children and liberate their minds for real learning and life experiences.

Stay Home Look At The Clouds

Today I am queer theorist, playwright, writer, queer historian, blogger, and business owner. It was not because I got beaten up twice a week by homophobic bullies and surrendering myself to egomaniac administrators and incompetent teachers that inspired me but because I stare out the window and just look at the clouds and I imagined. I imagined many things. I imagined the world. I imagined injustice and how I can fix it. I imagined things that were out of this world. Really, going home and just lying flat on the ground and looking at the clouds was my favorite time of the day. My imagination ran wild with brave new ideas. I even had an idea of opening my own theme park. I was day dreaming. But that was because my mind was working for me as it gave me ideas to work on as I grew older. This is where inspiration comes from. My parents had a small library of Spanish books from Mexico. I got to learn about Mexico's histories and even some mysteries and legends. This is when my researcher enthusiasm began.

My father took me to his job a few times, where I learned how to mix cement properly, how to build a frame, cut lumber... you know things that one day might be useful. My parents were a wealth of information even though they never attended public schools.

My mother was and still is my compassionate friend. At first they did not understand about my sexual orientation and yes they were frustrated and it was not easy for them. But never had they ever called me names, insults, hit me, or abuse me like the beautiful people at High School Inc. My parents learned a lot from me as well, they learned about sexual orientation, HIV, and gay culture. And they made a huge improvement and accepted my sexuality without hesitation a few weeks after they found out. They loved me and accepted me. And that is one thing a system will never do - love its students.

Today I'm advocating home schooling for our LGBT students. Some of us want to fix the unfix-able system. Forget about it. The system is not interested in you. Its only interested in itself. That is why so many states have been bankrupted thanks to a system that sucks money in one end and vomits dumb students at the other.

For the sake of our gay kids lets play with this idea. Many parents today, in particular Christian parents, home school their children. Christians do this in order to preserve their core values and beliefs. But I have also witness many of these parents with gay kids who have also been home schooled and their state of mind was much more healthier and the child was more accepting of his sexuality even with religious pressures from the family, many of these kids simply moved on and moved out on their own and became self sufficient. Self-sufficiency is something the system has never taught our kids.

Home schooling is also ideal for gay parents. I myself have decided to home-school my children that I will one day adopt. Gay parents can be such an inspiration to their children and they can and should give to their children values of tolerance and acceptance, two major components that are lacking in today's world. A lot of us have a string of knowledge and information to share with the next the generation. But the most important thing we have to share is compassion and love that would hopefully stick to our kids. Kids of gay parents will not have to suffer insults, or bullying for having gay parents. No need to have "meetings" with other intolerant parents regarding your sexual orientation being discussed in the class.

A gay kid who is home schooled has no need to bow down to peer pressure or any bullies. He can focus on learning, and there is a huge wealth of information, resources available to home schooled children on the internet (for god sakes it was created to share information in the first place) and their parents including online tutors for complex subjects (like high math, science etc). Also I think that GLSEN and GSA should jump at this idea and give it a chance. They can provide educational resources and tools for parents and even family counseling. So instead of going to the system itself and applauding the masters of that system and also stirring up trouble and confrontations with anti-gay activists who don't want us in the schools, we can directly market out resources to the parents and help the parents help and understand their gay youth.

This would be very appealing to parents of openly gay students who fear for their child's safety. Many of these parents are not aware that they do not need to send their child to the cesspool that is the system to further torture their gay child or even in some cases be murdered by another deranged student. Proms, homecomings, etc. are just illusions and so... well, boring. The real fun experiences in ones life are far from high school. And, hopefully if gay marriage is legalized more, we have weddings and other more important, life changing events to look forward as adults.

People who are concerned about bullying should consider this idea very much. You will liberate many gay students from the chains and the claws of a system that does not care for them.

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